today is the day
well i think today is finally going to be the day i start doing something about this depression. for the past week or so, i've been waking up ready to cry and hating everything around me. i don't want to be a goth, or some emo kid. i'm supposed to be the happy-go-lucky dude that can make the best out of the worst situation, and now, i only really smile if i hear a really good joke or something.
i know that this is not going to be an easy process. between having to take an anti-depressant, which may not start working for up to 4 weeks (yes, i've done my research on ssri's) and having to see a therapist however many times per week, this is going to put a serious dent in my schedule, but i'm finally ready to sacrifice it.
depression is a funny thing. inside your brain, your neurons (brain cells) communicate with each other by first secreting and then subsequently absorbing a fluid called serotonin. one cell emits the serotonin, and the next cell absorbs it, allowing your brain to transmit messages around itself. in a depressed person such as myself however, what happens is one braincell emits the serotonin, but then that same braincell absorbs the serotonin, preventing that message from travelling in the brain.
*insert marching band music here* this is where an ssri such as paxil cr comes in. ssri stands for selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor. in essence what it does is coats that secretion of serotonin in a substance that prevents that first neuron from absorbing its own serotonin, thereby allowing it to flow to where ever it's supposed to be going and leaving its user a happy camper.
i'm not expecting that by the end of the day, i'll be guy smiley again. i'm not expecting some miracle to occur and leave me normal again by lunch time. all i'm hopnig for is that by christmas, i can finally start feeling as good as everyone else. who knows, maybe i'll even help set up the tree this year.
i know that this is not going to be an easy process. between having to take an anti-depressant, which may not start working for up to 4 weeks (yes, i've done my research on ssri's) and having to see a therapist however many times per week, this is going to put a serious dent in my schedule, but i'm finally ready to sacrifice it.
depression is a funny thing. inside your brain, your neurons (brain cells) communicate with each other by first secreting and then subsequently absorbing a fluid called serotonin. one cell emits the serotonin, and the next cell absorbs it, allowing your brain to transmit messages around itself. in a depressed person such as myself however, what happens is one braincell emits the serotonin, but then that same braincell absorbs the serotonin, preventing that message from travelling in the brain.
*insert marching band music here* this is where an ssri such as paxil cr comes in. ssri stands for selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor. in essence what it does is coats that secretion of serotonin in a substance that prevents that first neuron from absorbing its own serotonin, thereby allowing it to flow to where ever it's supposed to be going and leaving its user a happy camper.
i'm not expecting that by the end of the day, i'll be guy smiley again. i'm not expecting some miracle to occur and leave me normal again by lunch time. all i'm hopnig for is that by christmas, i can finally start feeling as good as everyone else. who knows, maybe i'll even help set up the tree this year.
posted by Justin Smith at
2:50 p.m.
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